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Ironically, it was when my ten-year marriage fizzled that I began the innermost process of self-discovery about love. While discouraged and saddened at the crumbling of our relationship, I began to explore love more. How had it fizzled? Why had we stopped loving each other, and what had happened to our love? I grew up in a rather patriarchal culture and family, which had trouble expressing or showing love. In fact, they showed love in unusual and unhealthy of ways. My mother used harsh language, put-downs, and comparisons to others to berate, embarrass, and ridicule me about my personal habits, lack of achievement in school, and potential career choices.
My dad showed love in the form of his belt, which lashed How to date yourself and fall in love my body throughout my childhood. I remember horrific lashes, which left marks around my legs, buttocks, and back. If I were lucky, the lashes were made by the softer leathery-parts of the belt. My adolescent years were filled with memories of some of these physical scars, which have disappeared, but also emotional scarswhich continued to linger. You too may have been unloved or shown love in unhealthy ways in your life. Here are some tips on loving yourself first before searching for love in your life.
You may have hurts, emotional pain, and shortcomings. Learn to accept yourselfshortcomings and all, even if your family and partners may have berated you about your inadequacies. How to date yourself and fall in love tend to be harsh on ourselves, often because the people who were supposed to love us were unusually cruel and heartless to us.
We hear their non-stop chatter in our minds and our beings. Focus on your many positive qualities. Focus on your strengths, your abilities, and your admirable traits. Let go of harsh judgments, comparisons to others, and self-hatred.
You may experience both self-hatred and self-love. Spend more time focusing on self-love. Try loving and positive affirmations. Nourish your soul through a love-kindness meditation or spiritual practices that help you feel compassion and love toward yourself. Once you feel vibrations of self-love or the peace of positive affirmationstry to be in that place of love throughout your day. No one is. No one is happy all the time. No one loves themselves always. No one lives without pain. Be willing to embrace your imperfections and excuse your bad days. Allow yourself to embrace these emotions without judging yourself for them.
You may have to go within and seek solace in yourself to be comfortable in your own skin. Practice moments of alone time and be aware of how you treat yourself. Learn to embrace solitude and allow yourself to be mindful of your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs about yourself.
The process of self-discovery can happen through the process of clinical therapy or counseling. This healing process can help you discover who you are and what your obstacles to loving yourself are. In the alternative, periods of introspection, silent meditations, journaling, and sharing your feelings with supportive friends may help you be more aware of who you are. The process of loving yourself starts with understanding your true nature.
It took a combination of meditation, therapy, writingand silence to come to terms with my past and my present. Rhonda Byrne, author of The Magicshares with us a powerful way to change all of our relationships and our life. Byrne encourages us to practice gratefulness and regularly count our blessings. She includes twenty-eight practices for twenty-eight days of your life to help you feel gratitude more deeply.
Her initial practice is a formula to count your blessings. When you think about kindness toward others and being love to others, you open the door to divine love. I awoke and saw that life was service. I acted and behold, service was joy.
Click to opt-out of Google Analytics tracking. Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. The People Who Were to Have Loved Us I grew up in a rather patriarchal culture and family, which had trouble expressing or showing love. Be kind to yourself.
Be gentle with yourself. Feel the love within you and be that love. Infuse this love with your interactions with others in your life. Give yourself a break. Embrace yourself. Are you content being alone by yourself without feelings of anxiety, fear, and judgment? Be grateful. Give yourself in service to others. A relationship will only make you shine brighter and bring more love in your life.
About Vishnu Vishnu is a writer and coach who helps people overcome breakups to rebuild their lives and live with purpose. Web More Posts. See a typo or inaccuracy?
Please so we can fix it! Did you enjoy this post? Please share the wisdom :. Free Download: Buddha Desktop Wallpaper. Do you know what it means? Ex best friend She was all-in as was I, but then she was not. Disclaimer This site is not intended to provide and does not constitute medical, legal, or other professional advice.How to date yourself and fall in love
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